Plot Fix: Game of Thrones S8 Ep. 1

Despite the distractingly terrible plot, S8 wasn’t all bad. There’s some clever dialogue, the visuals were great, and the acting was pretty on point.

With that, I will try my best to rewrite S8 into something more worthy of its predecessors, its audience, and $90,000,000.

I’ll keep some of the dialogue, scenes, visuals, and even some plot points. I’m trying to give this a satisfying, crunchy wrap that doesn’t insult anyone’s intelligence.

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A few major strategic narrative departures from the existing S8:

1. Show distance and the strain it forces. Westeros is a continent, not a department store. Traversing it should feel like a logistical challenge.

2. Make Bran and Arya use those nifty powers.

3. Answer fans’ questions about the motive, symbology, and origin of the Night King.

4. Direct action scenes with at least 15% of the thought that the show-runners put into court intrigue.

5. Broadly: People need to die unceremoniously (like the good ol’ days).

Just as a forewarning, I would STRONGLY recommend that you watch the original series as I do refer to lines and fragments of the plot points from the aired series, especially in this first “episode” abstract.

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*I’m not a cartographer.*

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Opening Shot: Dark and stormy seas.

Pretending to be part of Euron’s fleet as they harbor at Tyrosh to collect the Golden Company, Theon isolates The Silence during a storm, rescues Yara, and sinks the flagship by ramming it into another vessel. They escape under cover of storm and darkness to a nearby lagoon where a small-outrigged ship awaits. They set course toward Westeros .

Jon and Daenerys make way to Winterfell with their combined armies from Cerwyn, they meet Lyanna and the Bannermen of Bear Island as their welcoming party as they disembark from their boat.

Jon and Dany learn the Army of the Dead has breached the Wall, and the Night King commands the reanimated Viserion. They reach Winterfell by the end of the day. As they trot on, they see soldiers and citizens are constructing trenches, bulwarks, and parapets, but pausing to look at the advancing army. The treeline has been cleared back to allow for line of sight. Drogon flies high overhead, causing bystanders to gasp.

The Northern Houses side-eye Daenerys and doubt Cersei's pledge to send troops; Cersei would have had to send them a couple weeks prior at least to reach Winterfell in a timely manner. Daenerys blames Tyrion for naively believing Cersei, prompting Jorah to ask her to forgive Tyrion's mistake and remember his loyalty as her hand. The Alliance sends ravens to sound a general alert across the North, and Dothraki with some of the northern houses act as scouts and evacuation guides. The residents of Last Hearth have come to Winterfell, reuniting with their lord, Smalljon Umber.

Rhaegal, suspicious at first, grows comfortable with Jon.

Sam meets Daenerys, who states that she executed his father and brother as traitors, making him *Lord* Tarly.

The Alliance formulates a plan, with Bran taking the lead. He knows the Lannisters will not be coming. Bran tells the leadership there is a chance to beat the horde, but everyone battle-ready would need to stay. He will try to match the Night King in the realm of Greensight. Bran recommends that the non-combatants leave earlier to Cerwyn to avoid civilian casualties. Sansa eventually agrees.

A raven glides over Last Hearth, only to find it’s been destroyed with a swelling army of dead lumbering around it. Brandon tells everyone what he sees. Smalljon, realizing his home has been destroyed, cries. His knights attempt to comfort him. Theon arrives and asks for forgiveness from the Starks. Sansa gives him a warm welcome.

In the Godswood, Sam and Bran reveal to Jon that he is actually Aegon Targaryen. Jon attempts to refute it. Bran says “You know nothing, Jon Snow”.

Sansa reluctantly departs with thousands of non-combatants (including Gilly, Varys, Missandei) to Cerwyn giving everyone a heartfelt farewell. Sam says he wishes to stay with his Night’s Watch brothers, worrying Gilly. Tyrion is asked to evacuate by Dany. “Your Grace, I have fought at the Green Fork and on the Black Water. Both times successfully. If anything, I’m overqualified.” “There must always be a Stark in Winterfell,” Sansa says. There are boats at Cerwyn on standby that will take them down the White Knife River straight to White Harbor.

Euron returns to King's Landing with the Golden Company but is furious to have lost Yara, he is calmed by Cersei. “Either she is drowned in the Narrow Sea, or she has been whisked away to lose a war.” Euron entices Cersei to consummate their alliance. On Cersei's orders, Qyburn hires Bronn to assassinate Tyrion and Jaime should they survive. In Qyburns’s study we see him with The Mountain, doing basic diagnostic tests. We also see a book he has open, which show mysterious symbols, including the Children of the Forest’s Spiral.

Cut to the actual Spiral. Bran is Greenseering into the past. We learn that it was the symbol of renewal and rejuvenation for the Children, with the invading First Men being their plight.

At Winterfell, two weeks later, Jon gains Rhaegal’s trust and learns to ride the dragon with surprising skill, drawing wonder from Dany. Battlements, trenches, and other siege construction still occur around Winterfell, and it looks much more formidable. There are rings of trenches surrounding the castle, each filled with flammable pitch. Non-combatants help make last-minute weapons with Dragon Glass shards.

Jamie, disheveled and in disguise, arrives from the South. He and his two horses look exhausted. He is invited in cautiously and a hall meeting is called.

He says he bought a new horse every 30 leagues to keep pace. Jaime reveals Cersei's deception to the Targaryen-Stark alliance and joins them after Brienne vouches for his loyalty. He is allowed to stay. Jaime apologizes to Bran for pushing him out of the tower window; Bran replies they are no longer the same people. Bran says, “The things we do for love”.

Bannermen from across the north have arrived to Winterfell, bolstering the garrison. Noticeably absent is the large contingent of Karstarks who did not come after Karhold witnessed a patrol of wights and white walkers. They thought it unwise to make the week-long trek when they might be ambushed along the way. “We will be making way to White Harbor. We hope to hear of your victory. “

Melisandre arrives, Davos allows her to stay, to his chagrin. “Don’t worry Ser Davos, I’ll be dead by sunrise,” she says.

Gendry makes a prosthetic shield attachment for Jamie. “That might be more useful when you’re fighting White Walkers than a solid gold hand.”

Bran proposes that he stay in the Godswood, as the Heart Tree will help him Greenseer when the Night King comes closer. Theon and the Ironborn offer Bran protection.

Melisandre and Bran meet briefly.

Bran: “You have waited many days for this night.”

Melisandre: “That I have. You have seen what this Winter might bring.”

B: “I have been weighing the possibilities.”

M: “I thought once to have seen many morrows. A rise of a righteous king. I was wrong.”

B: “I hope to be wrong.”

People pal around a fire. Jaime formally anoints Brienne as a knight. Jorah fails to persuade Lyanna Mormont from going to Cerwyn, and he is gifted House Tarly's ancestral sword from Sam. In what might be the last meal together, Tyrion cracks a joke to Jamie:

“Looks like you’re a hand short, and I’m a short Hand.”

Jamie: “How long have you held onto that one?”

Tyrion: “Since Mereen. Deeply saddened it hadn’t occurred to me earlier.”

Gendry shows Dany and Jon the Dragon Glass talons he made for the dragons. Weapons specially designed to vanquish wight Viserion, white walkers, and the Night King himself.

Dany confront Jon about his lack of interest in her. Jon reveals his Targaryen lineage to her, but pledges his support. Dany is surprised and saddened.

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Up next: Take a look at how I would have rewritten Episode 2: “The Long Night”

If you enjoy this, you might like me poking holes in another show: Barbarians Ep. 1